Here With Me
by Green1
Summary: Kensuke, Shounen-ai A short ficlet. Ken feels his relationship with Daisuke is on the rocks and wonders why.


Notes: This is an Kensuke and shounen-ai. I should give OOC warning to all of my characters, just in case. This is a work in progress. If there is anything blaringly bad in this fic, tell me and I'll be happy to change it.   
  
Special Notes: This is more then likely terribly cliché. I don't care. I just wanted to write it.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon or any of the characters.  
  
Here With Me  
  
I wake from a dream about him. He's sitting next to me at the beach, laughing at some stupid thing. His face is lit up as he does, though. I remember the most. Every detail. I reached over and grabbed his hand.  
  
He hesitates, but he doesn't pull back. It's because we're at the beach and there's a lot of people around us. Kids are playing and screaming and making sandcastles next to us. I never did that as a kid, but he assures me that it's fun.  
  
I laced my fingers in with his and squeeze tightly. *This is what is meant to me*, I say. *This is us. And we shouldn't be ashamed.*  
  
He smiles sheepishly and leans into my shoulders in a small push. But he's happy and that's what counts. We're happy. That's why we're together.  
  
It's dark in our room. The dawn light is starting to come in through the window but it still takes a few moments for my eyes to adjust to it. I sit up and turn around on the bed.  
  
He's sleeping there still. Thick, dark eye lashes laced together and his lips move as he murmurs. He's so beautiful like that. He hadn't noticed my movement; if anything, he presses his eyes closed more and his nose scrunches up.  
  
Maybe he's dreaming. He always dreams, but he never tells me. He says they're too much for me.   
  
I crawl closer, inch by inch on hands and knees. I'm stalking my innocent prey like a lion, my shoulders hunched closer to the bed and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing. My hair is being unruly and it's hard to crawl while trying to keep it out of my face. I guess I don't make an impressive lion.  
  
I don't know if he knows I'm here stalking him. He's not being the proper victim. But he should know and he should wake soon too. I miss his brown eyes looking at me.  
  
I sat back and pursed my lips, the game losing its appeal. I won't wake him but I can't stand to just wait here for him. I found myself frowning down at his sleeping form. We never really do anything anymore. Don't go out together. Maybe we could do something today. That would be fun.  
  
I sigh and lay my head down on his chest. He smells like soap and his skin is soft and warm under me. I smile. He's mine. My Daisuke. His stomach gurgles.  
  
A lazy hand works its was through my hair. "Mmm," my love moans. "Is it time to get up yet?"  
  
"Yes." I draw in a breath as he opens his eyes and searches my face. "I… I think… Don't you think that maybe we should go out today, Daisuke? I mean, we haven't been out in a while. And it seems like it would be a nice day…"  
  
The birds are starting their songs now and the sun must've been risen by now. It is autumn and still warm outside, though the nights are getting cold. The trees are beautiful in their new dying yellow shades.  
  
Daisuke groans and moves back slightly, moving me off his stomach in the process. He turns onto his side and blinked sleep-laced eyes at me. "I had that dream again…" He yawns and stretches.  
  
"That dream?" I frown and move closer. "Why don't you tell me about it?"  
  
"Not yet." He shakes his head. "You don't need to know about it." His smile was pretty. "I survived it another night. It only makes me stronger."  
  
His hair sticks up cutely and I can't resist moving towards him, trying to press it down and make it stay. It never does, and eventually Daisuke shakes me off. We do this every morning. Maybe that is a bit of madness. I'm not sure.  
  
"I had a dream last night too," I say when he comes back. His hair is wet and slicked back. I don't like it as much like that. It just looks to weird on him. "I dreamed of the beach. Do you remember the beach?"  
  
Daisuke walks over to the bedroom mirror and finishes combing his hair. He doesn't answer. Instead, he takes his time picking today's clothes. I watch him intensely. I can't tear my eyes from his golden skin. His muscles move as he moves and I can see them. He's so fit.  
  
I love my Daisuke.  
  
"Daisuke?"  
  
He walks into the other room, leaving me sitting on the bed. He's been like this lately. It seems like he's avoiding me. I can't figure out why but I can't be mad at him. I don't think I've ever been able to be mad at him.  
  
I found him in the kitchen, looking into an empty fridge. I remember that he's hungry and thinking about it, he does look thin. His stomach clings to his ribs a bit more then they should, his arms are a bit less meaty. Why hadn't I noticed this before?  
  
Maybe that's what we should do today: go shopping. That'll at least be some sort of an outing. We both need the air and I've missed doing things with him.  
  
"Daisuke, we need to go to the store…" I lean up against the island. "We need to go out anyway. Maybe we can talk about what's happening?"  
  
Daisuke shakes his head and slams the fridge door shut. "I can't do this." He seems to want to say more. Tears are in his eyes. Was he crying earlier? "Why Ken?" He shakes his head again. "I'm sorry. I just need to get out for a bit."  
  
I'm too stunned to move. "Dai?" I squeak and hear the front door slam shut. I stand still in the kitchen for a while before walking to the front door. I open it and peered out; no Daisuke.  
  
I know he wouldn't be there. I just want to make sure. Just in case he was out there and maybe needs me for some reason. I close the front door with a small click and walk to the living room.  
  
I fall into the couch and break out into a small sob. What do you want me to do? How can I make things better for us? He won't talk to me. He hardly looks at me anymore. What could I do?  
  
Somehow I fall asleep. I dream that I am weightless. I dream I'm flying and Daisuke is with me. The sky was a brilliant shade of blue and the clouds seemed to move out of our way.   
  
He looks at me and grabs my hand. "I love you, my Ken-lover. More then anything."  
  
I'm happy.  
  
When I wake , Daisuke is pressed against my back with on arm across my chest. He's asleep and beautiful. The earlier anger didn't mar his features.  
  
"What do you want me to do?" I murmur and sit up gingerly, as not to wake him. He sighs in his sleep and turns onto his belly. I touch his head before getting off the bed.  
  
The sky is dark. The house is haunted by shadows. It must be night, I mused. I must've slept for a long while and that would be why I wasn't tired. But I don't how I could sleep for such a long time. Maybe I needed it. I do feel better now.  
  
I move silently into the kitchen and use what we had left of the coffee to make me a cup. We really need to go to the store. Or maybe I would. Better not do anything to anger him.  
  
As the coffee perked, I lean against the counter. The kitchen was dark. No need for light when I knew my way around. The twin rooster salt and pepper shakers sat in front of me, but the rest of the kitchen was white and bare.  
  
We were supposed to put colors in this place. Even if it is tiny, it deserves more then this bland nothingness. I remember the colorful kitchen towels of some stuff farmhouse or another we planned on getting. And artwork of the fruit or some kind of food and put it in some distinct part of the kitchen for the fuck of it. And stupid fridge magnets of coke bottles and pots and pans.   
  
"Ken, love?"  
  
I turn away. The coffee is done so I get a mug from the cabinet and pour me a glass. No sugar, no milk for me. We didn't have those luxuries anyway. The store, I remind myself. At first light tomorrow.  
  
Daisuke follows a minute later. He's tired and his eyes have dark shadows under them. He's wearing his PJ pants, but nothing else. I allow myself a long look to soak in his tired-Daisuke eyes before turning away again.  
  
"Did I wake you?" I asked levelly. I'm surprised at that, but still my heart is beating fast.  
  
"I'm sorry, Ken. I didn't mean to upset you…"  
  
The coffee is hot and burns my tongue. I sit the mug down on the counter. "No, you didn't. I'm okay."   
  
Daisuke wraps his arms around my middle and pulls me away from the counter. "I think we should go out tonight," he says against my shoulder.   
  
"I think we need to go to the store," I counter and try to pull away from him. "And then we need to talk."  
  
Daisuke doesn't let go. He just tightens his grip. But then I'm not pulling hard. "Why? What does it matter? You're blissfully ignorant of it. You don't care." Suddenly he lets go and steps away. "Have it your way. Let's go to store and live the rest of our lives, happily ever after."   
  
I turn to him. "I don't know what to do…" I look down and lean against the counter. "I know there is something your hiding, but I just…" I bite my lip. "You aren't cheating on me, are you?"  
  
Daisuke snorts.   
  
"I'm sorry," I rush with a small smile, "but I couldn't resist." I can't help but laugh.  
  
Daisuke is smiling when he says, "Let's go out tonight." Somehow the air around us feels more clear.  
  
"Yes. Let's go somewhere." His gaze pierces me. Burning brown eyes, loving brown eyes, with silky long lashes. So pretty. "How about the beach? I remember we had so much fun the last time we went. It's so calm and peaceful there."  
  
Those eyes seem so much more tired just now. He nods slowly and scratches his head. "Let me go put something on…" he trails off as he heads for the bedroom.  
  
I'm still in my jammies but didn't care. No one will see us as it is night and all The beach… I smile as I took another sip of my coffee. I miss the waves and the laughing children and naked people laying in the sun.   
  
Daisuke emerges with a ready smile. He glides over to me and swings me in his arms. We dance around the room and then he presses his lips to mine. It was a soft gesture. "I love the smell of your hair," he leans down to whisper in my ear.  
  
We leave the house with fingers entwined and laughter following us. The night is almost cool and it smelled like the coming snow. It's been so long, I just want to fall into him as we walked. No one was out. No one would care if we walked so close.  
  
The ocean air is refreshing and Daisuke seems at ease. We take a place near the water. My shoes are off and my feet buried in the squishy, wet sand. I smile. Our hands are still linked.  
  
"Ken, love… do you… don't you remember?"  
  
I bite my lip and gaze at the sea. A lump in my throat won't go away. It won't let me talk.   
  
He sighed. "Ken…" and leaned up against me.  
  
"I know…" I wrap my arm around him and hug tightly. "I remember it. The last time we were here…" Yes, the bright lights. It was night then too, when we decided to leave. It had been a whim before, and so we had the car. We'd come after going to the store.  
  
His grip tightens on my hand. "I'm sorry. I… really…" he chokes out the words. "I didn't mean for it to happen."  
  
"I know." And he sobs against my shoulder. His arms found their way around my neck. I coed into his ear and stroked his head. "It's okay. I know. It's not your fault." I pull back and whipped his tears away with my thumb.  
  
He buries his face into my chest. We had been stopped, the road had become a parking lot because of some accident up ahead, and some drunk behind us didn't see. He just kept going.  
  
"We'll survive. I don't know where we are, but we're together. I'm not mad about being dead… at least we're together. That's what counts…"  
  
the end  
  
Well, what did ya'll think? 


End file.
